Across America, mass surveillance is the hottest new trend! Every license plate is logged. Every trip is recorded. Every parking lot is watched by a company that sells the footage to any police department or HOA that asks.

Meanwhile our "allies" overseas enjoy a privilege that Americans no longer possess: control over who holds the camera.

What if Flock devoted its technology to watching the powerful instead, starting with the case three years ago of an Israeli soldier stomping on the head of a Palestinian prisoner? (Source: https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/videos-israeli-soldiers-abuse-palestinian-detainees-rcna123214)

This was hardly the only such incident to be caught on camera. In the widely circulated Sheikh Jarrah footage, a Palestinian woman named Muna al-Kurd confronted a settler named Yaakov Fauci as he occupied part of the home where her family had lived since the 1950s. Now, after almost 70 years of residence, her family was facing eviction, and Fauci had already taken over part of the property. “You are stealing my house,” she told him. Fauci replied, “If I don't steal it, someone else is going to steal it.” (Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNqozQ8uaV8)

Nor is the phenomenon confined to Sheikh Jarrah. B’Tselem documented 20 incidents in early 2024 in which Israeli settlers and soldiers drove Palestinian shepherds from pastureland. The organization published video footage illustrating how settler farms are used to push Palestinian communities off grazing areas. (Source: https://www.btselem.org/video/20240522_video_footage_demonstrates_how_israeli_settlers_on_farms_take_over_palestinian_pastureland)

And that's precisely the problem, according to Malevola Johnson.

Malevola Johnson, a self-identified militant Zionist living in Tel Aviv, doesn't oppose surveillance. She supports it vigorously. She believes every American street corner should have a Flock camera. Every license plate should be tracked. Every trip, every vehicle ... everything must be logged. After all, Americans have nothing to hide, right?

But Gaza? The West Bank? Absolutely not. Malevola says that only the Israeli government should be allowed to operate cameras, not Flock. Independently operated cameras would document the airstrikes, the evictions, the settlements, the bulldozed olive groves. They'd catch the "wrong" people. And that cannot be allowed.

"My position is simple," says Malevola. "Turn every American city into a panopticon. Let the state watch its own citizens. Who cares! But Israel is different. Cameras must be operated by the Israeli government and no one else. Surveillance is for the nobodies, while privacy is for the powerful."

When asked to clarify whom she meant by "the powerful," Malevola replied, "As militant Zionists, we cannot tolerate cameras that might potentially expose our actions to scrutiny. Flock must never operate in our country. However, cameras operated by the Israeli government are necessary for peace. Let the cameras monitor the law-abiding masses!"

Not everyone agrees with Malevola. "If Flock cameras can catch a stolen Honda in Ohio, surely they can catch a stolen home in Sheikh Jarrah. But apparently, that math doesn't add up," says Becky McFair. “Flock needs to aim its cameras toward tyrants and leave normal people alone."

The Daily Bagel has reached out to Flock for comment. We have not heard back as of press time. But we'll update this post if they surprise us!

(DISCLAIMER FOR THE EASILY CONFUSED: Malevola Johnson is a composite character; hyperbole is used to illustrate the inherent contradictions in her worldview.)